The Choice

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Which am I?

The lawyer or the soldier?

If I choose my blood,

Then I am a soldier

Of a country in a silent war

If I choose my heart

Then I am a lawyer

Fighting my courtly battles.

 

Is it possible to choose?

My home or my country?

My home is safe

Far from any conflict.

My country is in danger,

A feud right on the border.

 

I am lacking time.

My decision edges closer

Should I fight?

How will I fight?

A war with words

Or that of fire.

 

The letter will come.

The ending must be decided.

What do I follow?

My dream or a nightmare?

My dream will be long but tedious.

The nightmare short but explosive.

 

Can I be the one?

The one that leaves family behind.

I wish to be selfish

Yet my burden lingers.

Can I be selfish?

Do I not have a duty?

To my family and my country.

 

Every day my choice changes.

I am held back by my own fears.

I could die if I fight this war,

I will be abandoned if I stay.

What am I?

Boy or man?